After serendipitously crossing paths as guests on the same radio program on day—Judy and I having a passion and love for networking—we naturally connected with each other.  Judy has graciously agreed to grace us with her expertise in a series of guest blog posts.  Every Wednesday January 7-February 11, I’ll post one of Judy’s tidbits that will all make us better professionals. 

Protecting Yourself from Leeches, Psychopaths, and Bad Actors
Part of creating a powerful network of great connections is protecting its members from the potential harm caused by people I categorize as leeches, psychopaths, and bad actors. In business and life you are pretty much guaranteed to run into such people, but they aren’t necessarily that easy to spot. In fact, they may seem powerful and charming—until you find yourself ruefully, or angrily, swearing never to let yourself be taken advantage of again.
Here are a few things I’ve noticed about three kinds of people that you want to keep out of your network. Consider this a public service announcement that is designed to help you recognize the “bad apples” before you ever take a bite.
Leeches can be attractive at the beginning because they need your help—to find them clients, referrals, or suppliers; to solve a problem in their business; to loan them your car keys or something more substantial. They’re great at taking, but they never give anything in return. They will drain you and your connections of whatever they can, and then they’ll be on to the next victim. The only way to get rid of leeches is to cut them off completely just as soon as you can get free.
Psychopaths can pour on the charm and be extremely attractive and expert at manipulating the rest of us, but they’re acting strictly out of self-interest. They are, in a word, predators, quick to blame anyone but themselves, and with no remorse if they cause others pain. Prisons are full of psychopaths, but then so are governments, entertainment businesses, and industries. (According to psychologist Kevin Dutton, author of The Wisdom of Psychopaths, CEOs are actually more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits than any other profession.)
While in business you may have to deal with psychopaths, I certainly would avoid having one as a close associate. With a psychopath, forewarned is forearmed: you must go into any business relationship with them with great care—and a good attorney by your side to double- and triple-check everything.
Bad actors are people who flunk the character test. They may have great strengths and expertise, but they end up breaking their commitments and cheating you of your money, time, or power. You can’t trust them as far as you can throw them—but usually you don’t know that until you’ve had the misfortune of trusting them first. If you discover you have a bad actor in your network, kick the person out immediately, and warn others of your experience with a simple “Run, don’t walk” caution.

Poet Maya Angelou once said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” By steering clear of leeches, psychopaths, and bad actors, you are protecting not only yourself but also your network from serious damage to their businesses

Judy Robinett is the author of How to Be a Power Connector: The 5+50+150 Rule (McGraw-Hill, May 2014), a book that provides instant, effective strategies for meeting the people you need to know and bonding with them fast to further your goals and theirs. Robinett is a business thought leader who is known as “the woman with the titanium digital Rolodex.” She has been profiled in Fast Company, Forbes, Venture Beat, Huffington Post, and Bloomberg Businessweek as a sterling example of the new breed of “super connectors” who use their experience and networks to accelerate growth and enhance profitability.

Judy can be reached at:

Website www.judyrobinett.com

Twitter @judyrobinett

LinkedIn Judy Robinett

Facebook Judy Robinett

After serendipitously crossing paths as guests on the same radio program on day—Judy and I having a passion and love for networking—we naturally connected with each other.  Judy has graciously agreed to grace us with her expertise in a series of guest blog posts.  Every Wednesday January 7-February 11, I’ll post one of Judy’s tidbits that will all make us better professionals. 

Three Golden Questions to Create Deep Business Relationships
In business, we’re meeting new people all the time. You chat or enter into a
discussion, and then you may decide that you want to pursue the relationship.
What’s next?
The normal procedure is to exchange business cards and promise to follow up. But I
believe that this concluding moment of your first meeting is a “golden” opportunity
to (1) create stronger connection, and (2) give and receive greater value that can
benefit you both.
Before you leave any meeting or encounter, you always should ask what I call the
Three Golden Questions.
First, “How can I help you?” This gives you an opportunity to add value immediately
with a suggestion, a referral, or an opportunity, and it will establish you as a giver
and potentially someone they want to know.
This question is particularly powerful if you can place your help in the context of
something the other person considers important. If she’s been talking about hiring
new salespeople, ask, “Can I put you in touch with some personnel resources? I’m
good friends with one of the top sales trainers in your field—he may know people
who are looking for new opportunities.” Helping people with causes in their
personal lives are even better. If someone is fighting to stop a landfill project down
the road from where he or she lives, for example, offer to call the county
commissioner or other local representative.
Once you’ve added value, you can ask the second Golden Question: “What ideas do
you have for me?” Asking for ideas allows them to add value to you as you have
(hopefully) added value to them. You can follow this question with, “Are there other
resources you think I should pursue?” Notice that you’re not asking them to provide
those resources (although they may volunteer to do so), just to recommend ways in
which you could advance your interests.
The third Golden Question is, “Who else do you know that I should talk to?” The exact
connection you need may be in this individual’s network, or they may know of
someone from their professional or personal background. Say you are looking to
open a branch of your business in the southeastern U.S. The brother-in-law of the
executive you meet at a local industry conference might have been doing business in
that part of the country for twenty years. Letting others know what you are working
on and then asking this question can open the doors to resources you could never
access otherwise.
Once you ask the three Golden Questions, be quiet and listen. Take notes if
appropriate—it not only will help you remember the resources mentioned, but it
also will show that you value the help and advice given. Ask if you can follow up
with them (a great reason to be in contact and to develop the relationship further).
As you leave, conclude your conversation with a simple yet powerful statement:
“Happy to help.” The other person will likely remember it when you contact him or
her again.
Remember, in every meeting you can learn something new, gain a new experience,
and perhaps find a new friend or associate. When you use the three Golden
Questions, you will open the doors to greater opportunities for you as well as the
people you meet.

Judy Robinett is the author of How to Be a Power Connector: The 5+50+150 Rule (McGraw-Hill, May 2014), a book that provides instant, effective strategies for meeting the people you need to know and bonding with them fast to further your goals and theirs. Robinett is a business thought leader who is known as “the woman with the titanium digital Rolodex.” She has been profiled in Fast Company, Forbes, Venture Beat, Huffington Post, and Bloomberg Businessweek as a sterling example of the new breed of “super connectors” who use their experience and networks to accelerate growth and enhance profitability.

Judy can be reached at:

Website www.judyrobinett.com

Twitter @judyrobinett

LinkedIn Judy Robinett

Facebook Judy Robinett

After serendipitously crossing paths as guests on the same radio program on day—Judy and I having a passion and love for networking—we naturally connected with each other.  Judy has graciously agreed to grace us with her expertise in a series of guest blog posts.  Every Wednesday January-February 11, I’ll post one of Judy’s tidbits that will all make us better professionals. 

Power Connecting (Networking) for Introverts
Recently Susan Roane, author of How to Work a Room, contacted me when she heard
about my forthcoming book on how to be a power connector. We had a great
conversation in which she told me that the number one question people ask is, “I’m
shy—how do I network?”
Most psychologists agree that anywhere from 30 to 50 percent of people in the U.S.
can be classified as introverts. I too used to be part of that group: growing up I was a
tall, awkward girl who did her best to shrink into the background in every social
situation. But there’s something interesting about many of us introverts: because we
don’t talk a lot, we are often very observant. We watch what people do and how they
interact.
That’s exactly what I did all through high school and college, and in my first job. I
watched people and learned about who they were, what they wanted, and how
others successfully “broke the ice” with them in social situations. And then I tried a
few things that helped me get past my initial reluctance (okay, fear) so that I could
reach out to the people I wanted to meet.
Today when someone tells me they can’t network because they’re shy or
introverted, I offer four suggestions that can help turn reluctant introverts into
successful power connectors.
1. Realize that every important person in your life was once a stranger.
“Stranger danger” is a fallacy. After all, your best friend, first crush, spouse, mentor,
co-worker, or teammate were strangers when you first met them. Whenever you
think about networking, imagine that the next person you meet might turn out to be
one of your closest friends.
2. Become fascinated by other people.
Here’s the great news for us introverts: most other people love to talk about
themselves, and all we need to do is to give them the chance to do so—simply by
saying hello, asking a good open-ended question, and then listening. When you take
the focus off of you and really pay attention to the other person, you’ll be surprised
at how quickly your nerves disappear.
3. Practice in non-threatening contexts.
While you’re walking, rather than staring at your phone or the ground, practice
looking at the people walking by. Say hello to the person next to you in line or on the
airplane. Ask the barista or the store clerk how they are doing, and watch them light
up when someone actually treats him or her like a human being. Then take this a
step further and say hello to people whom you might find intimidating—the boss,
the president of the bank, a political official. You don’t have to initiate a
conversation, just get used to keeping your focus on others.
4. Before you network, prepare.

If you’re going to a meeting or conference, do your research on the people you wish
to meet so you will have something interesting to say about them and their
interests. Better yet, reach out to them beforehand via email or LinkedIn. Best of all,
check with your network to see if anyone can provide an introduction for you. Many
introverted people find it less intimidating to connect online or through a mutual
contact (and a warm introduction is a better way to enter a relationship anyway).
Prepare three questions so you can immediately get the other person talking about
themselves (see #2 above). For example, “I saw that you are heading up your
company’s drive to support the local food bank. That’s a great cause—how’s it
going?” “My friend Tom says you’re a baseball fan. What team do you follow? What’s
your opinion of their prospects this year?”

You also might want to have a few general facts on current events ready to start a
conversation. Bring up the latest development in your industry or area: if people
know about it, you can ask their opinions. If they don’t, you can tell them a little
about it and then ask their opinions. Either way, you can get them talking quickly
and keep the pressure off of you.

Finally, create and rehearse a one- or two-sentence response to the question, “What
do you do?” But make sure your answer is interesting and involves something you
can be excited about. A friend of mine begins his introduction by talking about how
he loves to ride horses, for instance. You also could talk about whatever aspect of
your business that makes you enthusiastic—the latest client you landed, or the new
product you will be rolling out. Rehearsing a short response in advance will make it
easier for you to look assured, and talking about something that lights you up will
spark more interesting conversations.
Power connecting isn’t about building a huge network anyway; it focuses upon
creating valuable relationships with a relatively small circle of individuals whom
you can help and who can help you. In any networking situation, your goal is simply
to connect with one or two kindred spirits and learn more about them. And who
knows? They might become some of your VIRs—very important relationships.

Judy Robinett is the author of How to Be a Power Connector: The 5+50+150 Rule (McGraw-Hill, May 2014), a book that provides instant, effective strategies for meeting the people you need to know and bonding with them fast to further your goals and theirs. Robinett is a business thought leader who is known as “the woman with the titanium digital Rolodex.” She has been profiled in Fast Company, Forbes, Venture Beat, Huffington Post, and Bloomberg Businessweek as a sterling example of the new breed of “super connectors” who use their experience and networks to accelerate growth and enhance profitability.

Judy can be reached at:

Website www.judyrobinett.com

Twitter @judyrobinett

LinkedIn Judy Robinett

Facebook Judy Robinett

After serendipitously crossing paths as guests on the same radio program on day—Judy and I having a passion and love for networking—we naturally connected with each other.  Judy has graciously agreed to grace us with her expertise in a series of guest blog posts.  Every Wednesday January 7-February 11, I’ll post one of Judy’s tidbits that will all make us better professionals. 

A power connector creates high-quality connections between individuals and their
networks. Power connectors seek to add value by putting the best people in touch with the
best resources, with the goal of creating greater success for all concerned.
Three Important Truths About Building Strong Business Relationships

You walk into a gathering of some of the key thought leaders, influencers, and
business people in your industry. You know many of these people by reputation, but
you’ve never had the chance to meet them face-to-face. This is a golden opportunity
for you to get to know individuals that could be essential to your future success.
As you look into the room, what are you thinking? And how will you approach the
people whom you hope to turn into valuable business contacts?
In my thirty-year career (as a Fortune 500 executive, CEO, and now as an angel
consultant specializing in putting early-stage companies in front of angel and
venture capital investors) I’ve had the chance to enter many rooms where lots of
people with money, fame, or power (sometimes all three) congregate to do deals
with each other. Especially at the beginning, I was the “odd woman out.” I didn’t
know anyone, nor did I feel I had much to offer that would create connections with
such high-powered people.
That is, until I discovered three important truths about building strong business
relationships.
First, everyone needs something. Whether it’s a batting coach for their kid in Little
League, a new source of funding for their start-up, a good dry-cleaner or virtual
assistant, a friend on the city council, a recommendation or testimonial, an
employee or employer, or someone to purchase their billion-dollar company—all of
us are seeking for help of some kind.
That leads to the second truth: whatever people need, they will most likely find
it through their connections with others. The people in your network are some of
the most valuable assets you can have, both personally and professionally—and the
people in their networks multiply that value exponentially. A 2011 study by the Pew
Interest Group showed that the average person in the U.S. had 634 social ties in
their network. Multiply those 634 people by the people they know, and it means you
can reach almost 402,000 people just through the friends of your friends.
But the third truth is the most important: building strong relationships is easy
when you help people get what they want and need. Whenever you meet
someone—whether they are President of the United States or the guy at the corner
coffee shop—keep one question in your mind: “How can I help?” Then get to know
the other person, find out what’s important to them, and do your best to help them
get what they want or need.
Ultimately, the best way to help people is to connect them with those who can
provide needed resources. That’s what power connectors do—use the power of the
individuals in their networks to help others gain access to the answers, deals,
money, access, power, and influence they require.

Judy Robinett is the author of How to Be a Power Connector: The 5+50+150 Rule (McGraw-Hill, May 2014), a book that provides instant, effective strategies for meeting the people you need to know and bonding with them fast to further your goals and theirs. Robinett is a business thought leader who is known as “the woman with the titanium digital Rolodex.” She has been profiled in Fast Company, Forbes, Venture Beat, Huffington Post, and Bloomberg Businessweek as a sterling example of the new breed of “super connectors” who use their experience and networks to accelerate growth and enhance profitability.

Judy can be reached at:

Website www.judyrobinett.com

Twitter @judyrobinett

LinkedIn Judy Robinett

Facebook Judy Robinett