When I was in a position to support my business, I was responsible
for keeping the day-to-day components running smoothly. I found I had
a group of go-to people I constantly needed for assistance. There was one
person in particular who worked in technology that I found I was constantly calling to fix something. His sense of urgency and my sense of urgency were quite different. I had the constant need to ride him and follow up to get things done. I would stay on him, and he would quietly get to my requests in his own sweet time.
On one occasion, I really felt that my request needed to be prioritized—
although everything seemed urgent to me. He gave me the same
response that he gave me every other time: I would wait in line with the
other requests and he would get to it. I felt the need to sit down with
him this time and explain that I really needed him to get to my request
now. We sat together for an extended period for the first time ever. It was
not just a quick phone call or email request—we had a real conversation.
I explained my reasoning and rationale, which differed from past
terse requests, “I need it done now.” I hoped in doing this that he would
come to understand why my request differed in priority from the other
requests he had in his queue. He seemed to understand, and we were
able to work out a decent agreement that worked for both of us. I let him
know how much I appreciated him jumping on it, and thanked him for
the past work he had done for me. I clearly let him know that the work he
had done in the past was done with high quality and he should be proud
of it. I was not doing this because I just got what I wanted. I was doing
this because I felt we finally connected and he deserved to hear it.
Although he was taken aback to begin with, he saw the budding relationship as well and graciously accepted the compliment. He also thought it was a good time to provide me with some honesty of his own. He matter-of-factly said, “You’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” I had heard this proverb before, but never directed specifically at me, but I got the point quickly.
Our relationship continued to grow over time. He continued to
increase his sense of urgency, when it made sense, and I started to get
more requests done without follow-up. He would move my requests up
the queue with a wink, at times. Although this lesson isn’t about being
someone’s favorite, it didn’t hurt. In reality, he wasn’t working faster,
showing more urgency, or even any favoritism, he just wasn’t intentionally
delaying my requests any longer. I had deserved the delays before
because I was not respecting the value of the work he did. It also took
an event in which I really needed something badly to force me to tell
someone he’d done a great job. Sometimes, people just need to feel valued
and appreciated. As a peer or a manager, we should appreciate the whole
value of what someone is offering, not just a single event. Don’t wait for a
particular moment to give a simple compliment and provide recognition.
Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):
- Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
- Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
- Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
- The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
- From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
- The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood
See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com
MP3 Downloads of “From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide” are available at Apple iTunes, Amazon, Rhapsody, Emusic, Nokia, Xbox Music, Spotify, Omnifone, Google Music Store, Rdio, Muve Music, Bloom.fm, Slacker Radio, MediaNet, 7digital, 24-7, Rumblefish, and Shazam “From Fear to Success” MP3 on CD Baby