Although I had revisited older contacts occasionally over the years,
my own job search made it clear how essential it is to keep those older
network contacts alive. In routine networking sessions, I’ve gone back
to past colleagues, for example, to “reinvent” myself if they had a negative
perception of past work. However, the number of contacts I had that I
hadn’t been in contact with, in some cases for over ten years, was a wakeup
call. I realized that merely having names on a list was not a network. I
needed to keep old connections alive, so I started to go back and rebuild
those relationships. I didn’t want a snapshot from over ten years ago—or
even just a couple of years—to be the lasting image we had of each other.
I found rekindling the professional relationship created some great memories
and was an easy transition into getting to know each other again.
How do you go back to someone you haven’t worked with or spoken
to in years and say, “I need you”? First, reframe the question: is it really
about need, or is it about want? I started by thinking I needed to speak to
people to help me in my pursuit of a new job, but quickly realized how
much I wanted to catch up with those people. Even if an old contact is
in a different business field or a different company, the phone call can
still be made. When I was talking with colleagues from the distant past,
I found people had selective memories. The conversations tended to lean
toward the good times or the progress we’d made since we last talked,
versus some potentially rocky times we may have had. By restoring past
professional relationships, I found I was improving personal relationships
and enhancing dormant ones. The process of reinvigorating the network
was a great exercise in reformulating opinions about my former colleagues
and myself and infusing old relationships with mutual trust and respect.
How do you go about sending that out-of-the-blue email or making
the potentially awkward call? This is no time to be hesitant. It is only as
awkward as you make it. Avoid phrases like, “Sorry to bother you,” or, “I
know we haven’t spoken in over ten years…” It’s important to clearly state
your objectives, and one of them is to reconnect with past colleagues—or
business partners, clients, etc. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable enough to
share what’s happening to you professionally and what you hope to glean
from the networking session. You shouldn’t be looking for sympathy, but
you should be straightforward. A recurring theme throughout this book
is the understanding of the importance of knowing the wants and needs
of others you’ve crossed paths within the past. If you don’t know, it’s
alright to ask the question directly, “What can I do for you?” In the most
selfish of situations of needing a job, thinking of others can be a mutually
strong tool for long-term success for both of you. You shouldn’t intentionally
be looking for reciprocity. Instead, every conversation should be
a mutually flowing conversation of genuine interest in which these former
colleagues and contacts have been since you last connected. It’s alright
to be a little nervous until you get comfortable. You will find that these
conversations happen each day in business and after a couple of sessions,
you’ll gain confidence.
Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):
- Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
- Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
- Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
- The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
- From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
- The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood
See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com. Book , eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com
